You can’t do it all at once. But you can do what’s most important, one at a time.
Before starting anything, weighing everything and setting the right goals is very important. And even before setting goals, it would be good to figure out your priorities.
What are priorities, and why are they important?
Let’s first break down this concept to ensure we’re on the same page when discussing priorities.
According to the Britannica Encyclopedia: Priority is something that is more important than other things and that needs to be done or dealt with first.
A priority is so crucial that when the word first appeared in English, it only had a singular form. It was in the 1900s that we started using the plural form: priorities.
Your priorities are what matter most to you, whether due to your internal values, your current life stage, or even external circumstances.
Our resources (time, money, energy, etc.) are limited. This constantly forces us to make a choice, and sometimes, this choice can be pretty tricky.
With clearly established priorities, you can be more satisfied with life because you consciously choose what’s important to you every time.
The multitasking paradox
The fact that the word “priority” existed only in the singular form for a long time has a deep meaning.
If everything is important, then nothing is important.
In fact, if you have more than three priorities, you can say you don’t have any.
Modern society is focused on achievements and efficiency. We often hear that the more we get done, the more successful we are.
Attempts to do everything simultaneously lead to a lack of progress, burnout, or unfulfillment.
It’s counterintuitive, but focusing on less often leads to more tremendous success and a sense of fulfillment.
Have you ever tried to listen to the news attentively, cook dinner, and help a child with math homework simultaneously?
Doesn’t sound very productive.
This is what we try to do when we set multiple essential goals simultaneously on a larger scale.
Research also shows that the human brain is poorly adapted to multitasking. The productivity of this type of work decreases by 40%, while the likelihood of errors and the level of stress only increase.
Essentialism
By essentialism, I understand the conscious and disciplined pursuit of less. Less, but better!
Yes, unfortunately, you will have to give up a multitude of undoubtedly exciting and also enjoyable, even essential tasks. You will have to focus on one thing, a maximum of two areas of life.
But on the other hand, there is no other way. You are a human being, and your abilities are limited.
I know people who refuse to accept this concept. I’m not going to lie — I used to be one of them.
It takes time to realize that multitasking needs to be addressed. You have to get tired, know it’s inefficient, and decide to try something new.
Then, explore yourself and make a choice. To set priorities.
So, priorities are the same as goals?
Priorities and goals may seem similar, but they work differently.
Goals are particular, time-limited, and measurable tasks. Of course, goals can be short-term or long-term and cover various aspects of life, such as work, relationships, family, education, etc.
However, priorities are areas of focus that align with your values. Priorities help effectively distribute resources such as time, money, or energy.
When faced with competing opportunities (both options can be attractive — you know this!), your priorities help you make a decision.
Priorities will also help you determine which specific goals to pursue. If you align your goals and priorities, you can effectively direct your efforts toward what is most important to you.
How do we know when to sort out priorities?
Key signs that you need to pay attention to priorities:
I want everything and now (Problem: Priorities not set)
This is when you enthusiastically take on many new projects, travel to three different countries at once, meet a dozen new people, and sign up for five new courses.
But you don’t finish anything. Projects fall apart, trips are rushed, relationships with new friends quickly fade, and courses are abandoned after a few initial lessons.
Realizing this can lead you to a somewhat depressive episode where you don’t want to do anything for a while.
No, it’s probably not bipolar disorder. In today’s dopamine-centric world, this is a prevalent problem.
You like the idea of the result, not the process. You’ll likely have to learn self-control and how to choose the most important from many options.
I don’t want to do anything I need to do (Problem: Priorities set incorrectly)
Excluding psychiatric problems such as depression and apathetic syndromes, we can talk about incorrectly set priorities.
Perhaps you’re forcing yourself to do something that, deep down, you see no meaning in, and the process itself is entirely uninteresting to you. In your imagination, you’ve decided you need it, while in reality, you don’t.
The reasons can be different. The people around you or society may impose your priorities and goals. You may poorly feel your needs. You may need to learn about alternatives that suit you better.
You’ll be able to work on your priorities and goals. Rethink them so that you find meaning in your activities that resonate with your life values or learn to enjoy them.
Moreover, unlike goals, sometimes priorities are set by themselves.
If you get sick, your priority will automatically shift to “get well as soon as possible,” which wasn’t a priority before. And it will temporarily recede into the background. It isn’t easy to do something challenging when you simply don’t have physical ability.
If you think your priority now is your career or studies, but you feel stuck and don’t have the strength to continue, consider whether you are experiencing nervous exhaustion and it’s time to rest.
I don’t understand what I want at all (Problem: Priorities not worked out)
Such a state can occur during personal crises or after heavy shocks. Old priorities have lost meaning, and new ones have not yet been found.
In such a case, your priority may be finding a new priority.
In such moments, you need to show love and understanding towards yourself.
Finding yourself again and understanding what you want is helped by distraction. Watching movies or reading books (the main thing is that they have meaning for you personally), communicating with new interesting people. All this helps to look at your own life from a different perspective.
Also, trying new activities that seem unrelated to your life path can help. What have you wanted to try for a long time? Acting classes, learning to ski, or surfing?
When you immerse yourself in a new activity, the brain’s structure changes. You can say that you have grown new neural pathways that somehow change the old neural pathways in the brain.
Devote more time to yourself: your body, spirit, and mind. Give yourself time.
I get distracted from what’s important (Problem: Reduced mindfulness and self-control)
Have you decided what’s important to you but still get distracted by secondary tasks? This may mean problems with self-control or personal boundaries.
You may forget that you have a priority and give in to momentary impulses. In this case, remember every morning (for example, while brushing your teeth) why you set a particular priority and focus on the fact that “sacrifices” are needed to achieve the result.
Make a reminder for yourself related to your priority that is understandable only to you. Carry it with you or leave it where you spend most of your time.
Every time you manage to refuse something attractive to save resources for your priority, write it down and argue why you made the right decision. Praise yourself for resisting temptation.
If your problem is more related to an inability to say no to other people, then that’s a topic for a separate article. We’ll talk about it later.
Note: An unstable psycho-emotional state, health problems, or severe financial problems will divide your priorities by zero. If any sphere of your life is in a deep hole, you won’t be able to do important things for yourself as if nothing had happened. You need to first restore balance.
Managing Priorities
Identify and reflect on your automatic priorities
In fact, you already have some priorities. If you’ve never considered them, your brain sets priorities on its own.
The brain does this chaotically, sometimes focusing on instant gratification or settings you’ve received from your surroundings. Do a small exercise to reflect on what’s happening with your priorities right now.
Write down everything you spend time on for a week, for example. Consider sleep – many people may neglect sleep (health sphere) to achieve goals in other areas (e.g., work or study).
Then, assign each activity you’ve done to the corresponding area of life for which you did it. Just be honest with yourself.
You may spend an hour cooking dinner because you enjoy it (i.e., you spend time on creativity or entertainment), because it’s your duty in the family (then you spend time on family), or because you want to save money (then you spend time on money).
Look at the resulting list. You can rank them by the amount of time spent in descending order. Answer the questions:
- Do my current priorities align with my values and long-term goals?
- Are my priorities contributing to my personal growth and well-being?
- Am I sacrificing long-term fulfillment for short-term gratification?
The most important thing
Sometimes, priorities are obvious to you; sometimes, they’re not. If not, that’s OK; you just need to think about them a little.
You can write down your main goals and desires on paper. Let them be from different areas of life.
Then ask yourself: What is the one thing on this list that I can do that will make everything else unimportant or much more accessible to achieve?
If you can’t make a choice right now, give yourself time. Listen to your intuition.
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